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Another emotional night.
mood ♥ tired
listening to ♥ Ina - I Wanted You
When was the last time I tears/cry? I remember back then it was January.. I cry terribly.. My heart broke, shatter into pieces... Silly me. Just now when I was bathing, listening to all the emo songs on my phone I cried. I knew its gonna be another emotional night for me tonight. How true.. Its the memories/flashback that hurts.. Not that you still love/have feeling for that particular person... On/Off I'll think of that 1 very particular ex of mine. Maybe I've use to love him too much. Or because we ended without me knowing why it ended this way.. Thus I On/Off will suddenly thought of him. Flashback not just of him.. But some other heartbroken stuff as well :(
Too much hurts, too much sorrows. My heart shatter over & over again. Now I can get over heartbreaks within the day itself.. Within a day. How fast? Slowly I think I'll not even feel any hurt/heartbroken & stuff anymore. Why? Cause I'll be immune to all of this. Maybe I'll become feelingless.. Is it a good thing? For not being able to feel pain/hurt anymore... But I know for sure can get over it asap is a good thing definitely! I remember 1 of my guy friend whom was my ex boyfriend friends. Told me that he envy that I was my ex, girlfriend.. He say I was a good girlfriend. & good girl are hard/rare to find nowadays.. He even say, my ex was so lucky to have met me. But why he don't cherish me? He said its a pity that he hasn't get to know me earlier..
This quote suits me well.. Cause I'm such girl such lover... "
虽然有时爱你、哄你、迁就你到很累的地步了，但是不想失去你，所以我走下来了。" I always compromise, give in more to the other party. Eventhough till the stage I'm damn dishearted already.. But cause I don't wish to lose the other party. I still choose to hold on, & continue to walk this path... But in the end what I get? Nothing but hurt? Lies? Betrayed? Flirt behind my back? Know other girls behind my back? Ask from other girls number behind my back? What else?
True. As times goes by. & every relationship you had will make you to become a better person (depending on oneself though). For me I become a better? Cause I admit in the past I wasn't a good girlfriend. Wasn't good don't imply that I flirt, cheat or know other guys. I wasn't good because I had a bad temper/attitude. & a die die must win attitude. I don't compromise, & I won't give in. I take more than I gave. But now, I wasn't like how I was in the past already. Yet I don't see I'm being treated the way I should/deserve? I gave more than I receive. So what does this show? I should be like what I'm in the past? Cause 男人都是犯贱的? You treat them good, they take forgranted, treat you like shit. Like is 应该的? But when you treat them bad they 反而 love you even more. It don't apply to all, but some actually do you know? -.-
I remember I wasn't a club person. I wouldn't say I'm a clubber now either. But now I club almost once every week. I'm not a clubber though. Though people always say girls who goes to club can't be date, neither potential girlfriend. Cause girls who club are bitch/slut whatsoever. Club don't means all of the girls who went to club are slut/bitch. Is ok even if no one wants me. Cause in anyway they aren't going to treat me right either but just to bring me heartache. I like how the life I'm having now.. Free like a butterfly, full of freedoms, no restrictions. I do not have to report to anyone, whatsoever. No heartbreaks, no issues & stuff. Frankly, I'm really sick of relationship. Extremely sicked of it. Therefore I do not want to get tied down anymore... To get married by 25 it was my hope. But it won't come true already.. By 27 also not possible. I knew by then I wasn't settled down either. So I fuck care all of those already.. Now main focus is to work hard, play hard. I wanna earn more money to bring my parent go oversea to travel.. & also for myself.. I wanna buy my own car, I'll work hard to get my dream car.. & also to build up my own business.. Though now is like 1/2 way on the track.
大不了一个人罢了没什么大不了. 虽然有时一个人, 久了会觉得很累, 想要有一个人给我依靠, 和我一起分担所有的事情, 听我诉苦.. 我也已经坚强很久了... But if this person is to bring me more issues than the magazine subscriptions, I rather be alone. No tears, no heartbreaks, no issues. Unless there's really, this someone can show/prove me he's different.. Though sad to say, I can no longer love like how I use to love someone in the past. Too much hurts, too much sorrows, changed me to who I had become now... Is like you wanted to have someone, but then again you feel that its safer to be alone.
That's all for tonight. Shall blog next time though I don't know when, & I don't blog that often anymore. I need to sleep, goodnight.
Older post / Newer post
Another emotional night.
mood ♥ tired
listening to ♥ Ina - I Wanted You
When was the last time I tears/cry? I remember back then it was January.. I cry terribly.. My heart broke, shatter into pieces... Silly me. Just now when I was bathing, listening to all the emo songs on my phone I cried. I knew its gonna be another emotional night for me tonight. How true.. Its the memories/flashback that hurts.. Not that you still love/have feeling for that particular person... On/Off I'll think of that 1 very particular ex of mine. Maybe I've use to love him too much. Or because we ended without me knowing why it ended this way.. Thus I On/Off will suddenly thought of him. Flashback not just of him.. But some other heartbroken stuff as well :(
Too much hurts, too much sorrows. My heart shatter over & over again. Now I can get over heartbreaks within the day itself.. Within a day. How fast? Slowly I think I'll not even feel any hurt/heartbroken & stuff anymore. Why? Cause I'll be immune to all of this. Maybe I'll become feelingless.. Is it a good thing? For not being able to feel pain/hurt anymore... But I know for sure can get over it asap is a good thing definitely! I remember 1 of my guy friend whom was my ex boyfriend friends. Told me that he envy that I was my ex, girlfriend.. He say I was a good girlfriend. & good girl are hard/rare to find nowadays.. He even say, my ex was so lucky to have met me. But why he don't cherish me? He said its a pity that he hasn't get to know me earlier..
This quote suits me well.. Cause I'm such girl such lover... "
虽然有时爱你、哄你、迁就你到很累的地步了，但是不想失去你，所以我走下来了。" I always compromise, give in more to the other party. Eventhough till the stage I'm damn dishearted already.. But cause I don't wish to lose the other party. I still choose to hold on, & continue to walk this path... But in the end what I get? Nothing but hurt? Lies? Betrayed? Flirt behind my back? Know other girls behind my back? Ask from other girls number behind my back? What else?
True. As times goes by. & every relationship you had will make you to become a better person (depending on oneself though). For me I become a better? Cause I admit in the past I wasn't a good girlfriend. Wasn't good don't imply that I flirt, cheat or know other guys. I wasn't good because I had a bad temper/attitude. & a die die must win attitude. I don't compromise, & I won't give in. I take more than I gave. But now, I wasn't like how I was in the past already. Yet I don't see I'm being treated the way I should/deserve? I gave more than I receive. So what does this show? I should be like what I'm in the past? Cause 男人都是犯贱的? You treat them good, they take forgranted, treat you like shit. Like is 应该的? But when you treat them bad they 反而 love you even more. It don't apply to all, but some actually do you know? -.-
I remember I wasn't a club person. I wouldn't say I'm a clubber now either. But now I club almost once every week. I'm not a clubber though. Though people always say girls who goes to club can't be date, neither potential girlfriend. Cause girls who club are bitch/slut whatsoever. Club don't means all of the girls who went to club are slut/bitch. Is ok even if no one wants me. Cause in anyway they aren't going to treat me right either but just to bring me heartache. I like how the life I'm having now.. Free like a butterfly, full of freedoms, no restrictions. I do not have to report to anyone, whatsoever. No heartbreaks, no issues & stuff. Frankly, I'm really sick of relationship. Extremely sicked of it. Therefore I do not want to get tied down anymore... To get married by 25 it was my hope. But it won't come true already.. By 27 also not possible. I knew by then I wasn't settled down either. So I fuck care all of those already.. Now main focus is to work hard, play hard. I wanna earn more money to bring my parent go oversea to travel.. & also for myself.. I wanna buy my own car, I'll work hard to get my dream car.. & also to build up my own business.. Though now is like 1/2 way on the track.
大不了一个人罢了没什么大不了. 虽然有时一个人, 久了会觉得很累, 想要有一个人给我依靠, 和我一起分担所有的事情, 听我诉苦.. 我也已经坚强很久了... But if this person is to bring me more issues than the magazine subscriptions, I rather be alone. No tears, no heartbreaks, no issues. Unless there's really, this someone can show/prove me he's different.. Though sad to say, I can no longer love like how I use to love someone in the past. Too much hurts, too much sorrows, changed me to who I had become now... Is like you wanted to have someone, but then again you feel that its safer to be alone.
That's all for tonight. Shall blog next time though I don't know when, & I don't blog that often anymore. I need to sleep, goodnight.
Older post / Newer post
